


Auld Lang Syne

by blackfeatherquills



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bonding over trauma, Fireworks, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22044424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackfeatherquills/pseuds/blackfeatherquills
Summary: It was about an hour into the festivities, and Tony Stark had decided two things:1. He was in desperate need of another drink, and2. He really, truly, hated fireworks.orFireworks remind Tony of one of the worst times in his life. Steve notices and decides to help.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 107





	Auld Lang Syne

It was about an hour into the festivities, and Tony Stark had decided two things:

1\. He was in desperate need of another drink, and  
2\. He really, truly, hated fireworks. 

He carefully sipped the very last drop of what had been a very, _very_ dry martini and tried to keep his hand from shaking. Though it wasn’t quite midnight yet, it seemed that the citizens of New York City had fired off a couple of test rounds that had left everyone else in the tower looking up and making sounds of astonishment while Tony had immediately tried to find cover, a hand protectively over the arc reactor on his chest. 

The only person who had noticed was Rogers, and though he’d certainly given him a funny look, he at least had the decency not to say anything about it. He was sure Rogers had seen it plenty of times, what with being in the war. 

Not that he was shell-shocked, or anything. 

Tony bit down hard on his lip. So maybe he was lying to himself. Maybe, every time he heard a firework that sounded slightly like the missile that had embedded shrapnel in his chest and forced him to have what amounted to open-heart surgery in a _cave_ , he got a little bit on edge, which, in his mind, was completely reasonable behavior. 

But the most pressing issue at the moment was how the _hell_ was he going to make it through midnight on New Year’s Eve in New York City, with hundreds of fireworks going off at once? In front of hundreds of people, who were already crowding their way onto the balcony to see the show that was about to start?

The way Tony saw it, he had two choices. He could either stay inside, and have to field a thousand awkward questions about why he’d missed the fireworks, or he could go outside and try to brave it, and hope and pray he didn’t have a total meltdown in front of all of his guests. Neither option seemed particularly appealing.

Maybe he’d have to flip a coin for it. 

He checked his watch, sighing when he saw that despite his dilemma time indeed continued to move forward. Five minutes. Five minutes for him to move past years worth of trauma, or figure out one hell of a story for why he missed the best part of his own party. 

Tony was mentally engrossed in a plot to perhaps fake his own abduction, when he heard a familiar voice from behind him say, under his breath, “You know, I don’t love fireworks either.” 

Tony flinched despite the fact that he’d known Steve had seen him earlier. Regaining his composure, he turned and said smoothly, “Funnily enough, I can’t remember asking you. But I’m sure if Captain America doesn’t like the fireworks, the entire city of New York, hell, the United States of America, can cancel New Year’s Eve.” 

Steve stared at him for a moment, and Tony resisted the urge to shrink from his glance. He had the feeling, as he so often did, that Rogers was dissecting him, pulling him apart, removing all of the masks he used to carefully hide all the soft and fragile parts of him with those stupid, all-American blue eyes. After a brief moment of silence, Steve added, “Sounds like shells.” 

Now Tony really wanted to shrink, because of course he had been so busy throwing up his armor, so busy protecting himself, that he’d forgotten that Steve was a soldier before he was Captain America, that he’d been shot at and seen things that the average person couldn't begin to imagine. Of course he hadn’t been the only one struggling, how stupid of him to assume - 

“Tony,” Steve said, and it wasn’t the harsh, commanding _"Tony"_ that he was used to hearing out in the battlefield. It was something gentler, more tender, and it made his mind stop rushing for a moment and just focus on Steve, right in front of him. He forced himself to meet Steve’s eyes, which seemed to catch him off guard, because he only held Tony’s gaze for a moment before looking away. Normally it would have left him feeling victorious - tonight, it only made him feel worse. 

“I just wanted to say…” Steve’s voice trailed off, before he cleared his throat and started again. For a moment Tony could almost see him, the scrawny boy from Brooklyn that Howard had described to him in story after story. “Well, I just wanted to say that I know it’s hard. When people expect things of you that are hard for you to give, and you have to keep up appearances. I had to all the time, I mean ...when I got back, there were fireworks. No one ever figured ….”

“...That the last thing Captain America might want to hear when he got back were more explosions,” Tony finished, and Steve nodded somewhat sheepishly. 

“Not to say I wasn’t grateful,” Steve said quickly, which made Tony snort. 

“It’s just me, Rogers. You don’t need to apologize, or anything. Just ...say what you want, alright? I don’t have the President on speed-dial.”

It was far from his best snarky comment, but it made Steve smile, which made Tony feel like he’d accomplished something anyway. 

“Anyway,” Steve continued, “what I meant to say was ...well, that if you went out there, you wouldn’t be alone. You wouldn’t be the only one who was uncomfortable, who was there just for appearances. I’d be there too. But it’s your choice, Tony.” 

And though his mouth felt dry, and his knees a bit weak, the sheer honesty and open vulnerability in Steve’s bright blue eyes left Tony with no choice but to say, “What the hell. Let’s go watch some fireworks.” He quickly checked his watch. One minute to midnight. He offered his arm to Steve. “Shall we?” 

Steve turned a little pink before accepting the offered arm, so stiffly it made Tony laugh openly. “Relax, I’m not walking you to the electric chair,” he teased. 

“I almost wish you were,” Steve said, though his arm relaxed. 

“A joke? Out of Steve Rogers? Somebody call the papers,” Tony teased as they stepped onto the balcony with the rest of the party. He checked his watch. Thirty seconds to midnight. 

_You can do this, Stark,_ he thought to himself. _Just...don’t freak out. Focus on Steve, he’s right next to you. It’ll all be okay._

Around him, he could hear people begin to count down. 

“Three!”

Tony’s chest tightened, but he forced himself to take a few deep breaths. This was just the anticipation. The actual fireworks would be worse - he needed to be ready. 

“Two!” 

Steve’s arm slid out of his own, but before Tony could complain, Steve’s hand was covering his own. When he looked up at him in confusion, Steve mouthed to him, _Grounding_.

Right. Grounding. He knew that one. Keeping him focused, keeping him present in his surroundings, and most importantly keeping the flashbacks at bay. 

“One!”

“Happy New Year!” 

The fireworks cracked and burned and popped above him, and even though every inch of his body was screaming at him to run, hide, get away, he forced himself instead to focus on Steve’s face, to focus on the feeling of Steve’s hand on top of his own instead of on his racing heartbeat and the memories that threatened to push their way in at any moment. By the look of intense concentration on Steve’s face, he could tell that he was doing the same thing. 

After a few moments, the panic started to subside. The guests around him were laughing, throwing their arms around each other, kissing. Tony let out a shaky exhale, glad the whole ordeal was over. “We made it,” he said with a weak smile. 

“We made it,” Steve repeated softly. He still didn’t move his hand. 

“I...um, thanks. For everything. I wouldn’t have made it through tonight without you.”

 _Move your hand Tony,_ he thought to himself, but his hand stubbornly refused to move. 

“Now...we should probably kiss, I suppose,” Steve said, casual as can be, and Tony almost choked on air at hearing those words leave Steve Rogers’ mouth. 

“W-what?” Tony stuttered. “I -”

“I mean, do you have another explanation for people, as to why we’re standing here holding hands in front of your entire party?” Steve asked seriously. “And I thought that was a tradition, to kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s. It makes sense. Less questions.” 

“Well ...when you put it that way,” Tony said, stomach churning, and before he could get another word out Steve had bent down (God he was tall, was he always this tall? Tony wasn’t sure) and pressed his lips softly to Tony’s in a warm, chaste kiss, before pulling away. Tony could tell he was blushing by the way his cheeks were burning, and was surprised to find himself wishing that the kiss hadn’t been so sweet. 

“Well?” Steve said, looking vulnerable. The party was starting to die down, guests and their dates beginning to trickle out of the tower while the Avengers began to make their way to their rooms. 

Feeling daring, Tony smiled up at Steve, feeling more like himself than he had all evening. “I think I need you around tonight. You know, in case there are more fireworks.” 

Even in the dim light of the balcony, Tony could see Steve flush just the slightest bit pink. 

Maybe New Year’s Eve wasn’t the worst day of the year after all.

**Author's Note:**

> ~~hope you all enjoyed my very original title~~
> 
> thanks so much for reading I hope you enjoyed! a couple quick notes: 
> 
> \- I am my own beta and I proofread this at midnight so there may be some mistakes, feel free to point them out in the comments if you see them!  
> \- comments and kudos make my heart happy  
> \- feel free to stop by my [tumblr](https://starktxt.tumblr.com) to request a fic or chat with me about steve/tony (or anything really)  
> \- see you all in the new year!


End file.
